[#1]

Hey!!!

Ok, background Becks in a nutshell -

- 25 years old

- Single for 3 months

- With ex for 7 years and he's been my only partner

Soooooo........having breaking up a few months ago and not being single since 18!!!! Even thinking of where to start was terrifying!! But to see what was out there, and to flirt non-commitantly, online dating sites and apps seemed ideal! Started talking to loads of different guys and getting plenty of messages a day which was a huge confidence boost

Most always ended in some very cheeky flirting, sexy pics being exchanged (not rudeys! to be clear haha) and a bit of sexting hehe - which was perfect for me while I built up to actually meeting anyone for a proper first date. But I never met anyone I felt comfortable enough to meet and the one person I did, was a big let down....so no harm done, I kept having fun, talking to some right nice and interesting guys from all over 

But now, I've met a guy and he's just.....lovely! We get on so well, he's like the male version of me!! And because I like him, no sexting this time LOL, just normal conversation to get to know each other. But the problem is, we live over 200 miles apart I know....bummer!

I know we'll end up meeting in the New Year, becuase we've both already said how (as cheesy as it sounds) it just feels right....and we both want the same thing and are both in similar situations (recent break ups)

But my question to you experts is.....am I being stupid for thinking how much I really, really like this man when all we've done is text and talked on the phone?? .....or is that what internet dating's all about really, getting to know someone first??

Thanks for letting me vent!

Bex

[#2]

Hey!!!

Ok, background Becks in a nutshell -

- 25 years old

- Single for 3 months

- With ex for 7 years and he's been my only partner

Soooooo........having breaking up a few months ago and not being single since 18!!!! Even thinking of where to start was terrifying!! But to see what was out there, and to flirt non-commitantly, online dating sites and apps seemed ideal! Started talking to loads of different guys and getting plenty of messages a day which was a huge confidence boost

Most always ended in some very cheeky flirting, sexy pics being exchanged (not rudeys! to be clear haha) and a bit of sexting hehe - which was perfect for me while I built up to actually meeting anyone for a proper first date. But I never met anyone I felt comfortable enough to meet and the one person I did, was a big let down....so no harm done, I kept having fun, talking to some right nice and interesting guys from all over 

But now, I've met a guy and he's just.....lovely! We get on so well, he's like the male version of me!! And because I like him, no sexting this time LOL, just normal conversation to get to know each other. But the problem is, we live over 200 miles apart I know....bummer!

I know we'll end up meeting in the New Year, becuase we've both already said how (as cheesy as it sounds) it just feels right....and we both want the same thing and are both in similar situations (recent break ups)

But my question to you experts is.....am I being stupid for thinking how much I really, really like this man when all we've done is text and talked on the phone?? .....or is that what internet dating's all about really, getting to know someone first??

Thanks for letting me vent!

Bex

[#3]

Hi Rebecky

In a nutshell, I would say you can never really know that you "really like" somebody just based on emailing alone. The fact that you get on well with this guy on the phone is very positive, though.

As for OD being about getting to know someone first, again, how much can you really get to know someone based on words on a computer screen or pre-arranged telephone conversations? To be fair, this does work for some people. But, to me, OD is about getting out & meeting people face to face. That's the only way to gauge whether there is a real spark there.

I would always advise caution in falling for someone when you haven't yet met them. Even if you get on great when you do meet that's still no guarantee that a relationship will develop, especially given the distance which one or both of you may find totally impractical in the long-run.

I hope things turn out as you hope, but even if they don't, remember, you are still a young woman with plenty of opportunities & don't feel that because you've always been in a relationship that you have to jump straight back into another.

Good luck!

[#4]

Thanks for the reply moon,

I get where you're coming from and appreciate the warnings. However, I'm realising I've sold myself a little short here..... I think it's fair to say that I'm a very straight talking and practical person and I don't get swept up in fantasy very easy as I have a good bull detector implanted hahaha......what I mean by that is, regardless of my lack of dating experience, just because I've now met someone I seem to mesh well with, I'm not expecting the fairytale when we meet  ....I'm not that naive as I do realise it could all go t*ts up!

I'm just hoping that when we do meet, we get on as well as we do over texts/ emails/ phone etc.....which I assume everyone does when they start out on the internet right?? I understand mainly OD is used as a springboard as you said as an introduction to meet people nearby then to go out on a date and use that as your way of getting to know them.....but when you happen to meet a person who's miles away.......you kinda can't help but get to know them more - even if it is over something as impersonal as a text!

So, I think what I was asking for before was really if anyone has done this long distance before? Any success stories maybe to see if it is at all feasible?

Cheers

Bex

[#5]

Hi Rebecky13,

I haven't done the long distance relationship thingy but when I met my husband he had a job that took him all over the country. To be honest it didn't work very well. We only saw each other at weekends and sometimes that was difficult. You tend to cram a weeks worth of not being together and all you would've done into 1-2 days. It always seemed like the pressure was on for some reason. Add to the fact that he'd leave to go back to work sometimes Sunday night, all in all our time together was very limited.

 One thing I didn't like was he was never on hand if I needed him to give me a hug if I'd had a bad day or if I just needed to see him. If you have a relationship with somebody within driving distance you can see each other as and when you like and not have to wait until the weekend or an odd day in the week.

I'm sure long distance relationships can work out for some people and if it's what you want I hope it all works out well for you.

Good luck,

KS

[#6]

I personally don't do long distance either. For me, it would just be too impractical. So, I set my searching restrictions to just within 15 miles of my home town. I went on a date with one guy who was bit further away, though last summer. As I don't drive, it took an hours worth of travelling (buses & train) just to meet him half way! As it was, though, there was no spark, so I never saw him again.

I suppose you just need to consider that if you had a string of replies here saying how difficult long distance relationships are to maintain & they are not worth the hassle; would this affect your decision to meet up with your guy? If not, and you still want to meet him, then I would just go ahead & do it. I wouldn't start getting to work up about the whole LDR thing because when you meet in real life you might find that you don't fancy him or the chemistry just doesn't translate into real life.

Anyway, if you go ahead & meet then good luck & do keep us posted