Hi Kimberely,
I think dating sites are the opposite to real life. In real life there are plenty of ordinary genuine men out there but meeting someone who is looking for someone as well can be difficult, it seems to get more difficult the older we get. Whereas on dating sites it is full of men looking for someone but finding someone you could class as 'normal', ordinary and genuine for want of a better way of expressing what I mean, can be much harder to do.
Have a break and try somewhere else. Maybe try finding a site that you hook up with people with similar hobbies or as friends first and see where that goes.
Take the emphasis off 'relationships' and let a friendship develop into something more if it will but at least you'll have made a friend if nothing comes of it.
Owly x
Hi Owly,
Finding somebody on a dating site that's normal, ordinary and genuine is possible, I found somebody. I admit there are some weird and strange people out there but also some decent ones.
I think when you get to a certain age, online dating is the easiest option. As I said on another thread here, you can't go and stand in a bar on your own all night waiting for somebody to chat you up.
I must've been lucky when I was looking online. The men that I met were always nice and never pressured me for sex or anything else. Although the one I was seeing before this one was having an affair with his ex wife 
This time round things are going good, 10 months almost. It hasn't all been plain sailing but when is it?? I think the longer you're on your own, the more you get set in your ways. That can be hard when you start to share your life with somebody again. We're getting there and that's all that matters.
KS
Hi KS,
That's great that you have found someone genuine. There has to be decent men on there by the law of averages. I believe that one way or another two people who are meant to be together will gravitate to the same place in order to bump into each other or find each other.
Like you say though, you could have a long wait at a bar..... not a good look.
I think not knowing whether you are wasting your time in one place or one site is the worst thing.
Knowing that it's possible gives others a lot of hope.
Owly x
Hi Moonpixie,
It's a funny thing. OD is almost like microwave dating in that we probably expect instant reactions but in life we could work alongside someone before a spark grows and that person comes to mean a lot whereas if we had met them at a bar or anywhere that involved a fleeting meeting it would need an instant spark to get us wanting to develop something from it.
If we have the time to spend alongside someone every day then the spark of attraction doesn't have to be as strong or even there at all as there is time for it to develop, for the couple to come to appreciate different qualities about each other that are appealing.
Whereas if we don't have time to spend with someone it is more important for there to be a spark immediately.
It might be an interesting experiment to decide to become friends with those where there is no instant spark just to appreciate them for who they are without expectation and see what develops. Maybe be honest with them and explain this so that both can continue to look for someone with an instant spark while also continuing to communicate or hang out with others that have been met.
I dunno, it's just a thought.
Owly x
