[#1]

Hello,

I'm sure these things have been discussed before but this is my first post and I am looking for help/advice.

Myself, My Father and Sister have been worried about my mother's eating for some time.  She eats very little and says she is too full to join meals.  No longer living at home it is hard to keep track but my sister keeps me updated, although she admits trying not to worry me.

My mother is 48 and has always been body concious but lately has worsened.  When she recently came to see me she admitted she is seeing a therapist due to issues in her past, from when she was a teenager I believe, (which she feels contributes to her other problems, she says she feels she can pinpoint what has caused it but will not tell me, and I am not going to push her).  She has told me in confidence that she binge eats and that her therapist believes her to be borderline anorexic, however she does not want me to tell anyone and is not doing anymore about this.

Her eating habits, of which she is incredibly defensive, and angry about when questioned have been going on for two years.  She is frequently challenged by my father and sister, and I am sure this does not help, but it is concern.  I am trying a different tack of reassurance and offers of support in finiding help but she does not even respond to this.  As I am far away she easily lies to me and I just do not know what I can do to help.

I am seeking any advice on how to proceed.

Many Thanks,

S x

[#2]

Hello,

I'm sure these things have been discussed before but this is my first post and I am looking for help/advice.

Myself, My Father and Sister have been worried about my mother's eating for some time.  She eats very little and says she is too full to join meals.  No longer living at home it is hard to keep track but my sister keeps me updated, although she admits trying not to worry me.

My mother is 48 and has always been body concious but lately has worsened.  When she recently came to see me she admitted she is seeing a therapist due to issues in her past, from when she was a teenager I believe, (which she feels contributes to her other problems, she says she feels she can pinpoint what has caused it but will not tell me, and I am not going to push her).  She has told me in confidence that she binge eats and that her therapist believes her to be borderline anorexic, however she does not want me to tell anyone and is not doing anymore about this.

Her eating habits, of which she is incredibly defensive, and angry about when questioned have been going on for two years.  She is frequently challenged by my father and sister, and I am sure this does not help, but it is concern.  I am trying a different tack of reassurance and offers of support in finiding help but she does not even respond to this.  As I am far away she easily lies to me and I just do not know what I can do to help.

I am seeking any advice on how to proceed.

Many Thanks,

S x

[#3]

Also she is on anti-depressants, I am unsure of the name.

[#4]

Hi S,

welcome to the board.

It certainly sounds like your mum is having major food issues right now. It is very normal for someone with ED to be defensive when challenged over eating, etc. Can it can be a fine line between trying to support your mum and encourage her into eating or becoming the heavy over it and trying to bully her into.

You say your mum is on anti depressants? Persumably she sees her doctor fairly regularly for reviews? It may be possible for you to alert your mum's doctor to the situation if she is not aware of any problems. Naturally your mum's doctor will not discuss the matter with you but will listen to any of your concerns. Some anti depressants also help encourage eating, Mirtazipine for one, which might also help. Also your mum's GP might be able to arrance some support from a psychologist in order to help your mum come to terms h and help resolve any issues she is dealing with regarding food.

ED has many causes. for me it was an attempt to try and gain some control over something at a time when so much was beyond my control. Unfortunately we don't realise until it is too late that ED robs us of even more control.

I m also going to find some helpful links for you. :http://www.swedauk.org/carers.htm

Hugs

Jillxx