Hi, I have recently split with my fiance. This was my first real relationship, meaning I moved in with him and it lasted nearly 2 years.
I have always had the belief that you cannot be happy with the same person forever. Its not possible because its not in our nature. There are so many factors which contribute why this it true. Gene level we are vessels to pass on out genes to the next generation at all costs. Men have sperm so they can fertilise as many women as possible and women have eggs which energetically are costly. Plus women have to go through pregancy and give birth so its in the best interest for the woman to keep the man around. This is why women put up with more unacceptable behaviour from men and why men have that mid-life itch to go for someone younger and prettier. I understand we are civilised creatures and that we don't function at the animal level but its there in our genes none-the-less.
I meet my ex-fiance without looking. I never have looked, always waited for men to approach me. We got on well and it was good. He always said how he wanted to get married but I never have. In Feb I proposed because as I believed I loved him I wanted to do what he wanted. I got into it more than him. I looked at rings and places to get married. Found out after the proposal he was gambling about 300-400 pounds every month. He never gave up smoking which I had asked on many occassions to. I work two jobs and one day after working the full week and the weekend I came home to find that he had done absolutely nothing. Driving home I thought, maybe hes made me dinner as I had been working but no. With all the other small things on top of this day which was also an awful day at work I cracked and had enough.
The dream was broken. I thought I was happy and could be for a long time but I was taken in by what every woman wants. Someone to love them and make them feel safe.
I don't want children so I feel I have nothing to contribute to the future regarding a relationship. I am becoming ok, the sadness of the breakup is starting to disappear and I am slowly acclimatising to life on my own. Its not so bad, I get to decide everything in my life, I just have to be content on doing it on my own.
