[#1]

that in American comdeies the fat guy or the old guy or the computer geek gets the girl of his dreams and a happy ending? I'm an old, fat, disabled computer geek with no chance of a happy ending.

I'm sure that this time around I will probably get DLA thus taking away my excuse to be miserable and convince everyone I have no future. They will all think it;'s great.

In the meantime my mind is going, getting forgetful, difficulties in concentrating, etc., etc. The tablets that used to keep my back pain under control aren't enough even if I remember to take them all, which iI don't anymore, my neck and shoulder are causing more and more problems. Headaches are becoming commonplace and migraines are returning. My left wrist hurts at times and my right middle finger has deceloped a twitch which doesn't help when using a mouse on a PC.

In 10 or maybe 20 years I shall probably be bed-ridden and I don't want that. Neither do I want the sympathy that goes with it. I have no chance of finding love and happiness and the idea of a holiday is a figment of my imagination. By any way that you measure having a "life" I fail.

If I was an animal I would be put down but I'm not allowed that, doctor's insist that I go through whatever is left of the rest of my life in increasing pain and inability to look after myself.

last week I had an assesment from "One Support", it sounds like I qualify for help but, of course, there's a long waiting list. They seemed to be pushing me into moving, even suggested I should consider sheltered accomodation. That's something I have to stop. Apart from being scared to move and unable to afford it I need to have the freedom to find a way out when the time is right, or maybe I'm just kidding myself, doubt I have the courage to do anything about it.

I guess I should say that I'm having a bad day/night but that would be untrue...... I feel the same every day at the moment.

TC

[#2]

that in American comdeies the fat guy or the old guy or the computer geek gets the girl of his dreams and a happy ending? I'm an old, fat, disabled computer geek with no chance of a happy ending.

I'm sure that this time around I will probably get DLA thus taking away my excuse to be miserable and convince everyone I have no future. They will all think it;'s great.

In the meantime my mind is going, getting forgetful, difficulties in concentrating, etc., etc. The tablets that used to keep my back pain under control aren't enough even if I remember to take them all, which iI don't anymore, my neck and shoulder are causing more and more problems. Headaches are becoming commonplace and migraines are returning. My left wrist hurts at times and my right middle finger has deceloped a twitch which doesn't help when using a mouse on a PC.

In 10 or maybe 20 years I shall probably be bed-ridden and I don't want that. Neither do I want the sympathy that goes with it. I have no chance of finding love and happiness and the idea of a holiday is a figment of my imagination. By any way that you measure having a "life" I fail.

If I was an animal I would be put down but I'm not allowed that, doctor's insist that I go through whatever is left of the rest of my life in increasing pain and inability to look after myself.

last week I had an assesment from "One Support", it sounds like I qualify for help but, of course, there's a long waiting list. They seemed to be pushing me into moving, even suggested I should consider sheltered accomodation. That's something I have to stop. Apart from being scared to move and unable to afford it I need to have the freedom to find a way out when the time is right, or maybe I'm just kidding myself, doubt I have the courage to do anything about it.

I guess I should say that I'm having a bad day/night but that would be untrue...... I feel the same every day at the moment.

TC

[#3]

Very gentle hugs TC. I wish I had some answers for you. It seems life has given you some rotten cards :-( . 

Will there be no finacial support to help you move into sheltered accommodation if 'support' are suggesting it? It seems that these people always suggest things they thing is brilliant but without it being feasible or suitable for the people they suggest it to. Were you given any indication as to just how long the waiting list for the help will be?

I am sorry I don't have the answers. I wish I did. All I can offer is support, a place to offload and a virtual hugs.

Hugs

Jillxx

[#4]

From the point of view of moving they had no suggestions. There aren't any such places where I could still be near mum unless I go into a normal or adapted council place. My daughter is trying to move from a council flat because of problems with her neighbours and that is colouring my judgement I guess.

"One Support" suggested that if I did move I have family that could help. My sister also has back problems and left ,me to look after mum years ago. Her husband has knee problems so heavy lifting is out. Anyway, both are far too busy going away for weekends to attend band concerts to worry about my problems. My eldest daughter has children of 4 and 7 and is busy with her own move when she has time. My younger daughter lives in Plymouth and I haven't seen her since christmas. My son is 17 and I haven't heard from him for almost 3 weeks. Mum is 82 and has trouble just walking down to see me now.

No mention of any financial support was mentioned.

TC

[#5]

:-(  :-(  They do tend to puff off these 'suggestions' making it sound like the perfect solution without ever considering what is going on in peoples lives in reality. It is beyond frustrating. And without financial support, it is impossible.

Hugs

Jillxx

[#6]

Heard from the DLA....... high rate mobility and middle rate care. Got no reason to be depressed now yet I still feel very down.

TC

[#7]

Well done. I am so glad you have finally been awarded DLA. I think you are bound to still feel down. It has been extraordinarily stressful getting to this stage and it is bound to have taken a big toll on you. Hopefully you will pick up a little as you are able to afford getting things to make your life a little bit easier.

Hugs

Jillxx

[#8]

I'm glad to hear things are looking up for you TC.

[#9]

After more than 3 years trying to get it I didn't expect it this time either. Now I have it, I seem to have even more problems trying to figure out what to do with it, lol!

The obvious step is a car so I'm looking at the motability stuff for that.

Evidently I am now also entiitled to income support, so the woman from the CAB is coming round in a week or so to help me with that application. I need to sort out sleeping in a bed somehow and replacing a settee I have killed by sleeping on it but the proper things I need are very expensive. I need help around the house so I guess I'll have to make some arrangements for that. I also haven't heard anything from the charity "One Support" who suggested a 'wet room' for keeping clean, so I don't know whether to let them know because I can maybe now get help with it or whether they might figure that now I get disability I don't need their help.

In the meantime it all seems unreal somehow and I expect a letter any day from the DLA people telling me they made a mistake and sent me the wrong result......

TC

[#10]

Hi TC,

I am wondering if it would be possible for the Occupation Therapists to come round and see what you need. I know they went to my parents and put in grap rails, etc and raise toilet seats, shower stool thing and rails in the bathroom to help my mum. Not sure how it is arranged though.

I would still contact the charity about a wet room. A good bed to sleep in would be a plus.

Hugs

Jillxx

[#11]

Yes, it would, the guy from the charity even said they should come round. What he didn't do was let me know if either I or they would arrange it. That's why I'm waiting for a response from them.

TC