[#1]

Hi all, this is the 1st time I have posted on here for over 2 years & I hoped I would never have to again, but hey relationships have a nasty habit of turning your world upside down & unfortunately mine has :-(.
Bit of background, was married for 5 years (to a guy) & then single for 2. Had some good advice on here & then met a girl through an online dating site. First same sex relationship for both of us & we fell madly in love. Moved in together after a year & things were fantastic until recently. She has now asked for a "break". She has a lot of issues to deal with & says she still loves me more than anyone, but needs time to sort herself out. I feel like my heart has been ripped out, as I want to help her, but can't & now I'm not sure what to do? I have "come out" to a lot of friends & some of my family, but she hasn't & I think that's a lot of the problem. She is terrified of her Nan finding out & has a big social circle, where everyone knows each other, so if one person knows, then it's highly likely that it will get back to her family. Till now, I have dealt with this, but obviously the pressure has finally got to her & she has got herself stuck in a web of lies, where everyone thinks she is in a relationship with a guy. I'm pretty sure that a lot of her friends have guessed, but she still won't admit it & I'm not sure that she ever will. There a lot more issues, but I think is she can just tell one person about us, then the rest will be a lot easier to deal with. She has moved out for the time being which I'm sure is just adding to everyone's suspicions, but I miss her so much & feel very alone. It's not helped, that I have been off work for 2 weeks with ligament damage to my ankle & she has been coming around looking after me & being so caring. I said I would give her all the time she needs, but now think maybe I should just accept the inevitable?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated x

[#2]

Hi all, this is the 1st time I have posted on here for over 2 years & I hoped I would never have to again, but hey relationships have a nasty habit of turning your world upside down & unfortunately mine has :-(.
Bit of background, was married for 5 years (to a guy) & then single for 2. Had some good advice on here & then met a girl through an online dating site. First same sex relationship for both of us & we fell madly in love. Moved in together after a year & things were fantastic until recently. She has now asked for a "break". She has a lot of issues to deal with & says she still loves me more than anyone, but needs time to sort herself out. I feel like my heart has been ripped out, as I want to help her, but can't & now I'm not sure what to do? I have "come out" to a lot of friends & some of my family, but she hasn't & I think that's a lot of the problem. She is terrified of her Nan finding out & has a big social circle, where everyone knows each other, so if one person knows, then it's highly likely that it will get back to her family. Till now, I have dealt with this, but obviously the pressure has finally got to her & she has got herself stuck in a web of lies, where everyone thinks she is in a relationship with a guy. I'm pretty sure that a lot of her friends have guessed, but she still won't admit it & I'm not sure that she ever will. There a lot more issues, but I think is she can just tell one person about us, then the rest will be a lot easier to deal with. She has moved out for the time being which I'm sure is just adding to everyone's suspicions, but I miss her so much & feel very alone. It's not helped, that I have been off work for 2 weeks with ligament damage to my ankle & she has been coming around looking after me & being so caring. I said I would give her all the time she needs, but now think maybe I should just accept the inevitable?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated x

[#3]

Awwwww Huni ((((hugs))))

Its awful being in that not knowing stage.  they need time to think things through, while you just want a simple yes or no answer so you can sort yourself out.

Is it not possible to sit down together and talk things over between you both?

There's not really much advise I can give on this as Iv recently been through the same situation but with an outcome I didnt want

Talking is the only way really to get to the bottom of any situation/problem

[#4]

Hi there, thanks for replying & for the hugs :-). We have talked but she is the type of person who has always dealt with her problems on her own, probably due to her background, which is worlds apart from mine (I don't mean that in a bad way!!) When we first got together, she wouldn't confide in me about anything, but slowly with time, that all changed & she became a lot more open. I've no doubt at all, that she still loves me, but like I said, I think the whole "story" telling has got to a point where everyone is questioning her all the time & she needs time to decide what she really wants. Her family play a huge role in her life & she has never really got over losing a very close member just after we got together. I've suggested talking to a councillor & I know that tomorrow she has an appointment with someone with regards to a separate issue. Hopefully, she will find the courage to open up & get a lot of deep routed feelings to the surface as I'm sure it will help.
I'm sorry to hear that your situation had an unfavourable outcome & sending you hugs right back :-)
Thanks once again x

[#5]

Hi,

Has your situation improved at all?  We hope that it has all sorted itself out.  I had the same problem with my gf (but not to the extent of yours).  She brought her young son into our relationship and was so scared of what everybody would think and who we would upset.

It turned out that everybody was supportive and understood why we didn't tell them sooner.  I think your gf's famiily will be much the same and we have found that those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.  If people can't get past the fact that you love each other and be happy for you why is your gf so bothered about what they think?

What is the deal with her nan?  You say she would be very upset. Why is this?

Like I said, my gf and I have read your messages and really do hope that it has worked out.

Let us know!

Stace & Bee

xxxxxxx