[#1]

I have been with my boyfriend for just over 4 Months now He is 34 and we have a really good relationship but our sex life is so dull and I've tried so many different things to try and help our relationship but its just not making any difference. 

My boyfriend complains that I don't give him blow jobs -- but he wont shave, its not that I don't want to satisfy him, its just that he wont shave and im not asking him to be bald but I don't want to be giving oral into a bush. I've even asked him if it hurts him when he shaves, I have even given him tips on how to do it so it doesn't itch so much. My boyfriend doesn't seem to understand so I said to him.. Well think about it being the other way around and the only reply I get is "Well Yes" and he still wont shave. He also never uses his hands or tongue on me and I have a shower every day and im always smooth he has commented on that. Once. 

I have dressed up in stockings, suspenders, high heels, silk clothing. But this just does not make a difference I may as well be sitting there wearing the stuff with a coat over the top. I literally have to beg my boyfriend for sex and all I ever get is "I'm tiered, Later on or tomorrow and they never come. 

I don't force my boyfriend because I do understand that after we have been at work all day its nice to just cuddle up and go to sleep but our sex life is so dull it may as well not be there. My boyfriend also has problems keeping his erection.  Throughout our relationship he has only had a hard erection once and I have been very gentle and sensitive about it and that is why I have tried many different things to try and turn him on. I have given him sex toys to try on me and when he uses them on me he looses his erection, so I make excuses for him and say don't worry I understand your tiered you've had a hard day at work. 

He wanted to have anal sex so badly with me but I hate it -- I thought that if I did it then it may spice things up for us so my boyfriend got the enjoyment out of it and I ended up with a Haemorrhoid, hospital trip, tablets and a possibility of surgery if it doesn't go down but I still haven't moaned at him or complained because its not his fault and all I wanted was for him to have some satisfaction. 

I have talked with him about it and he just covers over things and says yes we do but you need to understand that im tiered, but yet when he gets home he doesn't have to do anything, My boyfriend used porn a lot before and during the first couple of months of our relationship and he never wanted sex im wondering if this is one of the reasons?

Please Advise me, cheating is not an option I just want both of us to get some enjoyment but I am running out of ideas.

[#2]

I have been with my boyfriend for just over 4 Months now He is 34 and we have a really good relationship but our sex life is so dull and I've tried so many different things to try and help our relationship but its just not making any difference. 

My boyfriend complains that I don't give him blow jobs -- but he wont shave, its not that I don't want to satisfy him, its just that he wont shave and im not asking him to be bald but I don't want to be giving oral into a bush. I've even asked him if it hurts him when he shaves, I have even given him tips on how to do it so it doesn't itch so much. My boyfriend doesn't seem to understand so I said to him.. Well think about it being the other way around and the only reply I get is "Well Yes" and he still wont shave. He also never uses his hands or tongue on me and I have a shower every day and im always smooth he has commented on that. Once. 

I have dressed up in stockings, suspenders, high heels, silk clothing. But this just does not make a difference I may as well be sitting there wearing the stuff with a coat over the top. I literally have to beg my boyfriend for sex and all I ever get is "I'm tiered, Later on or tomorrow and they never come. 

I don't force my boyfriend because I do understand that after we have been at work all day its nice to just cuddle up and go to sleep but our sex life is so dull it may as well not be there. My boyfriend also has problems keeping his erection.  Throughout our relationship he has only had a hard erection once and I have been very gentle and sensitive about it and that is why I have tried many different things to try and turn him on. I have given him sex toys to try on me and when he uses them on me he looses his erection, so I make excuses for him and say don't worry I understand your tiered you've had a hard day at work. 

He wanted to have anal sex so badly with me but I hate it -- I thought that if I did it then it may spice things up for us so my boyfriend got the enjoyment out of it and I ended up with a Haemorrhoid, hospital trip, tablets and a possibility of surgery if it doesn't go down but I still haven't moaned at him or complained because its not his fault and all I wanted was for him to have some satisfaction. 

I have talked with him about it and he just covers over things and says yes we do but you need to understand that im tiered, but yet when he gets home he doesn't have to do anything, My boyfriend used porn a lot before and during the first couple of months of our relationship and he never wanted sex im wondering if this is one of the reasons?

Please Advise me, cheating is not an option I just want both of us to get some enjoyment but I am running out of ideas.

[#3]

Hi again,

Call me ignorant, but at 4 months, you should be at it like rabbits and I thought the stocking and suspenders are something you try when you have been together for years and want to spice things up.  Introducing those things early in the relationship may lead to lack of ideas to spice things up in years to come. But that is just my opinion.

I do not mind going own on my bf, lucky, he does not have a bush as such, the only niggle is I go get stray hairs in my mouth at times, but I put my hands over the pubic hairs and rub the area while he is in my mouth, he seems to like it... killing two birds...

It does not sound like you are sexually compatible though.  I would not be with a guy very long if he did not 'return the favour downstairs'  This sounds like me and my ex,  he did not go down on me, only once when I was in tears and that was for like 10 seconds. I was with him for 4 years... looking back now, if I would have asked him sexual 'getting to know you questions' before meeting and if he stated that he was not highly sexed or adventurous, things may have been so much more different.  I was the one looking at the porn in that relationship.  I was the one looking at porn because he could only handle sex about once a week, so I needed to 'get mine'  So you can imagine how frustrated I was, I know they are actors and putting it on, but I felt jealous of the porn stars, they looked and sounded like they were enjoying themselves. Even if I tried a new position other than missionary he would say I was too kinky- doggy, me on top etc.  He thought sex in the kitchen was unhygienic!

When I was getting to know my now bf, we both 'overstepped the mark' and asked sexually fuelled questions  before meeting, now, some 3.5 years later, we are still rampant more than ever.  We dont really have to try, I guess we are just lucky.

Maybe it is the matters in your other post too, because stresses in daily life can have an effect on his libido, especially his erectile dysfunction.

Hope this helps

M x

[#4]

Hello Again!

I wish I was rampant like you and your partner are! Yes I totally agree the other problems will have an effect but we were like this way before she started. When my partner and I first met he said "oh I must warn you im very naughty and enjoy sex -- hope you can keep up" And I said well you haven't seen anything yet! 

I mentioned this to him and he said yes but my idea of romance is cuddling up (And keeping his hands to himself)

I agree if I have to do these things to turn him on now in the future I have no chance at all really. As for exploring in all different ways, the fun and dangerous ones it just plain simple doesn't happen. 

My last two relationships were amazing I was with my partners for each 2yrs+ and I never needed to dress up or use sex toys and we really were like rabbits and I had amazing sex lives with them and now I feel like im at a dead end. And I do get satisfied but not fully. And my partner just gets into bed and sleeps. 

Maybe things will never change in my relationship

[#5]

Hi Aston,

I didnt want to read and run, I will reply later this evening, i have to go to work!

M x