[#1]

- and because she is disorganised expects me to available on demand.

I work 20 hours a week (unpaid) in our joint project on top of the 50 hours a week I work (paid) as an administrator at a bank. I'm also temporarily disabled.

To make the project work I have ended up being her PA as well as doing my own work - setting up her website, ordering business cards, finishing spreadsheets and powerpoints, booking travel.  It's always an emergency, its always essential because it impacts our joint projects.

Now I'm being yelled at for not being available at 10pm on Saturday, or spending bank holidays with my family, or not answering my blackberry when I'm in the shower.  

Her temper is so out of bounds that I don't think its possible to put up boundaries to have a purely professional relationship. 

I take full responsibility for allowing it to go on so long, and for playing my own part in the situation.  I''m not a saint.  But I can't take it any more - I'm going to have to abandon 5 years hard work on a joint project to protect my sanity.

[#2]

- and because she is disorganised expects me to available on demand.

I work 20 hours a week (unpaid) in our joint project on top of the 50 hours a week I work (paid) as an administrator at a bank. I'm also temporarily disabled.

To make the project work I have ended up being her PA as well as doing my own work - setting up her website, ordering business cards, finishing spreadsheets and powerpoints, booking travel.  It's always an emergency, its always essential because it impacts our joint projects.

Now I'm being yelled at for not being available at 10pm on Saturday, or spending bank holidays with my family, or not answering my blackberry when I'm in the shower.  

Her temper is so out of bounds that I don't think its possible to put up boundaries to have a purely professional relationship. 

I take full responsibility for allowing it to go on so long, and for playing my own part in the situation.  I''m not a saint.  But I can't take it any more - I'm going to have to abandon 5 years hard work on a joint project to protect my sanity.

[#3]

That's a shame that things have got so bad, but working with friends is always going to be a minefield. It sounds like you have already decided what to do (without any advice from the guys here) but just in case you do decide to try to make things work, if you are a paid employee (rather than a partner in a small business) employment law could be on your side. The European working time directive is very specific about what hours people work and what has to be voluntary. If this truly is a business partnership, and you don't have this sort of thing agreed in writing beforehand, you may just have to chalk it up to experience and be more circumspect next time.