Hi Jess,
Too many things in your life are beyond your control and yet they are affecting you so this is a classic set up for stress. Anything that affects us that is caused by someone else over which we have no control increases our stress. The longer we suffer from stress the more our serotonin level drops which means we sink into depression.
So you might find it helps to create two lists, one list of things that are outside your control and a list of things you can control. Focus on the second one. Then do what you can to reduce the pressure on yourself by the things on that second list or get support for yourself over those things.
Next thing is to remind yourself that what you are experiencing is temporary and so are the lifestyles and opportunities which are happening to your colleagues. Nobody has it good or easy forever. At some time, sooner or later almost everyone goes through a crisis. Anyone who has got it good now only has it all to come. That's not wishing anything bad on anyone it's just the way life goes and so you can afford to allow them this moment of joyful planning because nobody knows what's around the corner.
You will come through this. It won't feel like it and it may go on for some time before it begins to get easier but it will get easier. You just have to find a way of keeping things balanced to help you stay as strong as you can to go the distance. This could entail simple pleasures that don't cost anything and for every acute stressful event you face find or create time to lie down, possibly in a darkened silent room so that none of your senses are stimulated and just allow yourself to relax back into yourself.
The trick is not to push yourself harder to appear to be coping well but to keep things balanced and treat yourself or reward yourself in some small way and tell yourself why you deserve whatever it is.
I don't know if you are against anti depressants because of what they are or if you just don't like taking tablets. If you are just against anti depressants then you might want to consider St John's Wort for mild depression. This is the most prescribed medication for mild depression in Germany.
If you feel your depression is deeper then you could try 5-HTP from a health food shop. This works the same way as Prozac but is said to be a more natural form. It would mean that nothing appeared on your records but you would be working towards your recovery.
My ex husband's father was left in a vegetative state after being knocked down. His mum and dad had divorced and she married again. I can't say I know what it's like to be in your position but I can sympathise through knowing what my ex's family life was like.
Owly x
http://healthtools.aarp.org/drug-interactions
Owly x
