General Discussions
Does Faceache make people Insular ?
Hello!
I don't venture over here often. I'm too neutral in most of my stances to debate ferociously. But I'm frustrated, and on my soap box today.
I have been looking at facebook, and seeing the way that people behave on there, and it is frustrating me to say the least. If I look through my long list of "friends" on there, I can identify a dozen who actively engage at a deep, and genuinely interested level. The rest seem to be pretty insular. They post on their own statuses, and fire their stresses and problems off to various groups, but don't actually seem to visit others!
On boards like iVillage, there is a great sense of community, or there always was. As a general rule, most active participants posted on boards with their worries and problems, but also posted in turn on the messages of others. I found this to be the case across the loss boards, the health boards, and the parenting and baby boards. Not so much on the bullying support board. I can't speak for others as my generalisation is purely anecdotal.
To me, despite being designed to "connect people", Faceache seems to remove people into their own, self absorbed little bubble, which touches the bubble of others at a superficial level, disconnecting us from that richer level of contact and connection.
I find it frustrating, and somewhat disappointing too.
What do you think ? Is Facebook good for relationships or not ? Have you had any particularly positive or negative experiences over there ? And which do you find gives the deeper level of connection - a message board like this, or a networking site ?
xxx
Mummy to C-ZJ (04/09), I-M, (08/07) K-J (12/05), D-K (12/99), K-D (01/98) & ^i^Leife^i^ (15w in 12/04)
, Mums Club December 2005, Beat Bullying
Does Faceache make people Insular ?
Hello!
I don't venture over here often. I'm too neutral in most of my stances to debate ferociously. But I'm frustrated, and on my soap box today.
I have been looking at facebook, and seeing the way that people behave on there, and it is frustrating me to say the least. If I look through my long list of "friends" on there, I can identify a dozen who actively engage at a deep, and genuinely interested level. The rest seem to be pretty insular. They post on their own statuses, and fire their stresses and problems off to various groups, but don't actually seem to visit others!
On boards like iVillage, there is a great sense of community, or there always was. As a general rule, most active participants posted on boards with their worries and problems, but also posted in turn on the messages of others. I found this to be the case across the loss boards, the health boards, and the parenting and baby boards. Not so much on the bullying support board. I can't speak for others as my generalisation is purely anecdotal.
To me, despite being designed to "connect people", Faceache seems to remove people into their own, self absorbed little bubble, which touches the bubble of others at a superficial level, disconnecting us from that richer level of contact and connection.
I find it frustrating, and somewhat disappointing too.
What do you think ? Is Facebook good for relationships or not ? Have you had any particularly positive or negative experiences over there ? And which do you find gives the deeper level of connection - a message board like this, or a networking site ?
xxx
Mummy to C-ZJ (04/09), I-M, (08/07) K-J (12/05), D-K (12/99), K-D (01/98) & ^i^Leife^i^ (15w in 12/04)
, Mums Club December 2005, Beat Bullying
Hi Ambi,
I tried to reply but when I clicked send it said authentication missmatched or some such thing. Not good considering I was extoling the virtues of ivillage.
Anyway what I was pretty much saying was that although I've never used FB as I've never been enticed by anything it had to offer along with having a bad feeling about it (perhaps that's a personal thing rather than it being a bad place), I prefer iVillage.
To me iVillage is like belonging to a family firm where everyone who comes through the door is warmly welcomed and after getting to know them we recognise them whenever they drop in again. Whereas FB is like a multi storey office block where at best people just say hi in passing because there are so many of them.
We can get to know the people better here but on FB it's just not possible to maintain a long list of people as friends as such.
Also I think if people know there are too many people to be able to help then they could switch off their desire to get involved at all. In fact it probably wouldn't be healthy to spread themselves so thinly helping so many people. We all need to pace ourselves so that we don't burnout or as it has also been called 'Compassion Fatigue'.
Owly x
Hi Ambi,
I find FB is rather souless. I use it to contact people that I can't speak to very often otherwise but I find it so impersonal because there is so much chaff being fired off in all directions and a lot of it pretty pointless. And it seems to cause so much bad feeling.
I much prefer iViallage as I find it very supportive, it gives me a voice that others can understand and , although I am quite shy, IRL, I can be more outgoing and connect with people. I am very sad at the way FB has taken over from sites like iVillage because it can't provide the support iVillage provides. And the amount of information you can get on iVillage regarding issues you might have is brilliant. I love the sense of community.
I think my vote is for a site like this not a networking site like FB
Hugs
Jillxx
I think fb and ivillage are different so hard to compare. Fb is usually people you know where as iv is people who from all different walks of life who have yet to become friends. We've all made some great friends on iv so the paths do cross.
My iv friends who have crossed over and become real friends have done so after a progression from iv onto fb. IV gives you the opportunity to be anonymous where are most people are themselves on fb. (even if their status updates are how great they want us to believe their life is)
For me I get a deeper level of connection through privacy. So the private boards on iv have been great for this. We've been able to share a bit more than what we would otherwise on the boards. Without the boards though there would be no mums clubs secret groups on fb.
I'm quite sure I'm waffling and not even sure if I'm answering your question but for me iv and fb are different and both have good qualities. I want to meet new people, talk in confidence, get various opinions, points of view and info and to be myself without worrying if people are judging so for me iv ticks more of the boxes.
