Hi Helloheidi,
What you're suffering from is something that others have experienced too. I saw a programme about it where in one case a man would feel guilt if he heard about a crime being committed and believed he had been responsible. Every person on the programme was experiencing something along the lines you mentioned.
It was sortable. I don't know if it had a name, if it did I've forgotten it. I think the group on tv were suffering from various forms of obsession. It wasn't always an obsession where they had to do something. A lot of the time it was about how they felt or thought.
OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) starts with obsession or obsessive thoughts that progress to a compulsion in order to help alleviate the obsession. So a person will go on to do something to reduce the impact of the obsession.
It could be that you are suffering from high anxiety and that if that could be brought down to manageable levels you might find you weren't so paranoid if that is what it is that you are experiencing.
Perhaps it would be worth having a word with your GP about high anxiety to see if that can be helped first. It's amazing what the brain or the mind can produce when we are pushed to our limits.
Don't jump to conclusions that you are automatically a worst case. Take it slowly, in stages and talk of easing some of the symptoms that may have resulted in how you can sometimes think.
There are many medications available and some would be able to calm you down enough to see if it helps overall. Then you wouldn't need any major therapy or treatment.
Owly x
Hi Heidi,
It does no harm to be cautious. You could let your parents know where you are going to be. Another option would be to write it down and leave it in your room, diary etc, where it would be found if need be.
The surprise treat should be genuine and enjoyable but you are in control and it might be worth reminding yourself of that at any time you feel overwhelmed. You can excuse yourself and go to the toilet or step outside for a breath of fresh air and a few moments to get yourself together.
Remember you don't have to do anything you don't want to. Whatever choices you make will not make you a bad person.
I think the fact that you've been through health problems in the past has probably added to your insecurity about life and the tricks that can be played and how you can't take good things for granted.
I also think that anxiety is a common reaction to stressful events and you said that you have been going through some personal stressful difficulties. You could do what I did when I went to the doctor after I'd had a mini breakdown and that was to write down my symptoms or write down what stresses you've had to face and hand it over to the doctor to read and just talk about how you are feeling and say this is seriously affecting your life now.
I once read that saying those words gets them to do something to reduce the difficulties of any condition you have gone to see them about.
Everything you have been to see the doctor about has been genuine, there is no reason for them to presume this isn't.
By all means reject medication and discuss alternative options before considering medication.
Owly x
Hi Heidi,
Try to recognise your feelings for what they are, reactions to a surge of adrenaline. If your blood sugar falls a bit this can cause a surge of adrenaline. Once your body feels this hit you'll start to feel like something dreadful is about to happen. Your mind will take over and you'll start creating scenes of what might be possible or what you might think is probable.
Some people have found that caffeine helps in a weird way. You'd think it would make things worse but it seems to help.
Magnesium supplements can help as well. The best way is to bathe in magnesium flakes as it is absorbed much better and more effectively through the skin.
Breathe through it and try and find out what triggers your adrenaline rushes.
I've recently discovered a brilliant relaxation cd by Paul McKenna. I never would have gone for this normally as I get put off by people who are celebrities or too famous but this cd is really working to help me calm down when I'm going through a difficult time. I think it's called Deep Relaxation. I've seen it on Grooveshark but I'm not sure if that's legal or not as it plays without paying so I'm reluctant to post a link to it.
There are many others and I'd tend to go for the hypnosis relaxation ones to get a better and hopefully long lasting effect.
If you need something in a hurry you might find something on you tube that you can listen to on headphones as you get the best effect that way.
Owly x
