Thanks for your input and opinion on this. Sometimes I feel so lonely and unhappy trying to work all of this out on my own.
I know that this guy has been hurt before but so have I. I am sure that many people have at least one bad experience under their belt by the time they get to their 30's.
Like I said he texted me twice after I saw him on Thursday and I asked him about what he meant in something he said in his bedtime text. He didn't reply so I left it. I asked him about it via text on Saturday and he said "Just leave it please and leave me alone." I was confused since he had been the one to initiate text contact?? (confusing)
So I just text back and remained civil. I said "Ok. I only asked because you brought it up. Sorry that you are so bitter. If only you realised that life is too short for all this." Then I sent him a quote about resentment being like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. i.e. I just wanted him to realise that I wanted to mend bridges, that life is too short and that he is only hurting himself by continuing to behave like this.
I didn't hear anything back for 4 hours until he text and said "Whatever poisosn shite. Just end of"
So I had meant my text to be cordial but to the point and he stewed on it for 4 hours before sending that message which sounded all angry again.
I don't know if I will hear from him again now or not but I won't be sending him anymore texts.
Have you ever had anything to do with anyone who actually didn't want to have anything more to do with you ? I don't mean that in a nasty way, I mean just so you can see the difference between how they were and how your current guy is behaving.
He drags things out and yet keeps telling you he wants nothing more to do with you.
If he really had no interest then he wouldn't be triggered into responding. Something is motivating him into contacting you to tell you that he wants to be left alone.
I'd give him what he wants now. Back off completely and see if he makes contact.
I thought your text to him was civil and if he'd had a cool head he'd have seen that you were wanting things to be calm between you. He could have left it all alone but instead he responded. Does he need to have the last word all the time or something ?
I think you'd be right not to send any more texts. See how he copes with what he has asked for.
I'm in two minds as to whether he is getting something out of the contact he has with you or whether he would let things settle and move on. If he's getting something from being in touch then he's going to miss that and do something about it.
In the meantime I think you should watch that you get the money each month, relax a bit and move on from him. I think this guy has the potential to wreck your head a bit.
Community Leader on:-
Have to update you on this for your insight if you don't mind. As you advised in your last message I backed off and did not send ex boyf anymore texts since our last communications in early May.
At the beginning of June I got my money paid into my account by standing order (so he had finally set it up). I didn't acknowledge it and he didn't text and say anything about it either.
However, about a week after that he texts me out of the blue again, this time asking me for some paperwork that I have that he claims to need. I ignored this text.
Then, the next day he texts me again chasing it up. This time I replied and said sure, he could have it and that it was at my house so he knew where it was if he wanted it. He then replied and said he wanted me to mail it to him. I had no intention of doing this because it was going to be my time, effort and money and after the way he had been I didn't want to be putting in all the effort for someone who had turned the way he had over the last few months. So I text back and said 'whatever then hun, your choice!' and made it sound light hearted.
He replied and said thanks but when I didn't send it he didn't chase it up. Also, if you remember, it had been 6 weeks earlier that he had been asking for this paperwork so all the requests for it, then silence for weeks then asking for it again.
A few days after this latest text I sent an email to him through Facebook, it was a funny image that was a joke that was similar to a joke we used to share when we were together. I didn't write any text with it, just sent the image. It was just random on my part.
The next morning I log on to FB and he had sent me a written reply saying that the next time I was in his area that I should text him and we could get together for coffee.
I was half expecting it to be a wind up but yesterday we finally met up for coffee. He was decorating a flat for a friend of his so we were at the flat just me and him, he was working and painting and we talked as he worked. Then he had to go out and take his dog for a quick trip to the vet and he said I could go with him. On the way back, as we neared the flat again I said I was hungry and asked him to stop at the local bakery. He said he had work to do and couldn't we get back to the flat and then he could carry on painting while I walked to the bakery.
At this point I said oh well, you just drop me off at the bakery then and I will go home and let you get on with what you're doing. However, he then changed his mind and said no, he would drop me off and wait for me, which he did. We then returned to the flat.
Up until this point we had avoided the subject of our break up. I decided that unless he brought it up that I would just make general chit chat. Anyway, he brought it up. I re-iterated that I was a mess last year after my previous r'ship and that I had not been using him and that I was sorry for sleeping with my ex (even though me and this new guy were not in a proper r'ship when that happened). I said my head is much clearer now and that I wanted him to know that I was really sorry if he felt like I had made a fool of him and that was never my intention, that I had no malicious intent etc etc but that my emotions had been crazy last year. I also mentioned that I was not back with my ex and neither did I intend to be as I had always told him. He took all that in but then said it's none of his business who I go out with now anyway.
He said he still felt like he had been wronged though and didn't know if he could ever trust me again. He said that he was currently single and wasn't in a hurry to get into a r'ship with anyone but hinted that he would just be out on the pull in other words. I thought he might have been waiting for a reaction so I made sure that I didn't rise to that bait (if indeed he was trying to bait me).
At one point when I was saying how I felt I tried not to hug him, but just touch him on his arm and he said not to try and hug him. Howver, about an hour later when it got time for me to leave I told him that it had been nice seeing him and he did hug me. It was lovely, for me anyway. The hug lasted about 5 seconds.
Then I left, with no arrangement to see each other or anything like that mentioned. However, about 2 hours later he sent me a text message, asking me something random like did I remember where he had put something in the flat? I replied and said I wasn't sure. About an hour later I text him to ask if he had found what he had misplaced but didn't get a reply so I just left it.
I felt that yesterday was at least chance to see each other and talk and was instigated by him asking me to meet him but not sure what his motivations are, if any?
I would like to make up with this guy but don't know if I should take what he said at face value or if he finally misses me?
It was also interesting that the whole time we were together he didn't mention the paperwork. He didn't ask me why I hadn't mailed it and neither did he ask me to bring it with me when I was going to meet him.