[#1]

Hi everyone,

I haven't been on here in ages because I was actually doing so well and keeping busy but in the last week things have all gone to hell and I'm in need of support again.

My dad took an overdose a week ago, I got a phone call at work from my brother and we had to try to persuade him to go to hospital, which he eventually did. Physically, he's fine, he was discharged on Friday but mentally  he's not well at all.  He told the doctors that he had been planning the suicide attempt for 2 days, though he had intended on hanging himself and the pills just "got in his way" in his words.   The psychiatric nurse that spoke to my mother said that they didn't feel he was depressed so they weren't going to hospitalise him, that they believe he did it in a fit of rage or temper.  Sounds to me like they're just making excuses for not wanting to admit him to hospital. 

All that's been done so far is that they've made him hand back all his medication and he has to go to the doctors every 4 days for a prescription for 4 days worth of tablets. That doesn't solve the problem of all the other ways he might harm himself.

Understandably, I'm a nervous wreck over it all, I'm afraid of what he'll do, worried to the point of making myself sick (pretty sure I've given myself an ulcer at this point). To top it all off my parents got a letter yesterday saying that their allowance for free electricity units and telephone line rental was being stopped, which will mean they lose their telephone & won't be able to afford to pay the electricity.  (Should say I'm in Ireland and as the entire country is broke the governement are making cuts left right & centre without care for the consequences).

I'm sorry for coming back only when I'm in trouble, I know I should've been on here when I was doing well offering support to others. I did often think of you all on here and wonder how you were all doing.

x

Sylver.

[#2]

Hi everyone,

I haven't been on here in ages because I was actually doing so well and keeping busy but in the last week things have all gone to hell and I'm in need of support again.

My dad took an overdose a week ago, I got a phone call at work from my brother and we had to try to persuade him to go to hospital, which he eventually did. Physically, he's fine, he was discharged on Friday but mentally  he's not well at all.  He told the doctors that he had been planning the suicide attempt for 2 days, though he had intended on hanging himself and the pills just "got in his way" in his words.   The psychiatric nurse that spoke to my mother said that they didn't feel he was depressed so they weren't going to hospitalise him, that they believe he did it in a fit of rage or temper.  Sounds to me like they're just making excuses for not wanting to admit him to hospital. 

All that's been done so far is that they've made him hand back all his medication and he has to go to the doctors every 4 days for a prescription for 4 days worth of tablets. That doesn't solve the problem of all the other ways he might harm himself.

Understandably, I'm a nervous wreck over it all, I'm afraid of what he'll do, worried to the point of making myself sick (pretty sure I've given myself an ulcer at this point). To top it all off my parents got a letter yesterday saying that their allowance for free electricity units and telephone line rental was being stopped, which will mean they lose their telephone & won't be able to afford to pay the electricity.  (Should say I'm in Ireland and as the entire country is broke the governement are making cuts left right & centre without care for the consequences).

I'm sorry for coming back only when I'm in trouble, I know I should've been on here when I was doing well offering support to others. I did often think of you all on here and wonder how you were all doing.

x

Sylver.

[#3]

Oh sylver, so sorry your dad is making life difficult again.

Don't worry if you only come on here when you are struggling, people understand. 

hugs
Tabbs

[#4]

Gentle hugs Sylver. That is a lot to have to contend with for you. I don't have any advice but just wanted to send you a gentle hug or two (((((Sylver)))))).

Hugs

Jillxx

[#5]

Hi Sylver,

It sounded to me like the psychiatric nurse was making excuses too. To make assumptions that he wasn't depressed for one thing and another assumption that he did what he did out of rage is or could be downright dangerous. Y'know what I'd do, I'd let them know, if not now then whenever you get chance or feel it's the right time, but I'd mention that you're in touch with your MP about mental health issues and that you'll probably mention his treatment to them for their feedback.

Say it in a way that sounds like you've just been having an ongoing discussion on the subject so it's less like a report of anyone but you might just find they start doing more than they may ordinarily have done.

Then whatever they do or don't do I would probably contact your MP anyway to just ask whether this is part of the normal procedure because it seems dangerous that a nurse could make assumptions that could influence the future actions and possible outcome of those actions by someone who is and has been unstable for some time.

Say that you'd have expected better from the professionals and ask if this is the kind of 'treatment' most can expect in similar situations.

If nothing else it would be interesting to get their view on it and at best they could take up your case and make some enquiries if you would like them to.

The husband of a friend of mine has recently attempted suicide so I can understand how it is making you on edge about everything.

As for the free electricity units and telephone line rental, if I were you I'd give them a ring to start with and put them in the picture as the way things are currently it would be vital for your parents and you to at least have the telephone available.

Just see if either the electric company or the telephone company can continue with the free units or whether they have an alternative option for emergency situations such as this.

There is nothing at all wrong with returning when you need help. Help is always and entirely unconditional. Nothing at all is expected in return.

Owly x

[#6]

The problem with the psychiatric nurse or any of the doctors is that they flat out refuse to discuss anything with any of the family. A psychiatric nurse called to the house on Saturday and I asked my mother if she'd had a chance to speak to him but she said he just said he was there for Dad and that's that. Surely speaking to us would put them in the picture properly as to what's going on as I really don't trust Dad to be telling them the whole truth. It's exasperating. That nurse was supposed to call again the following day but no sign of it happening yet. Only yesterday I heard of another man who lives in our village that presented himself at the hospital as he was suicidal and was turned away. I know there's cutbacks and bed shortages but are they really just gonna turn people away who are in danger, you have to wonder if the number crunchers aren't a bit gleeful when someone succeeds in suicide and they can wipe them off the books.

I rang about the electricity/telephone units and it's all because my brother has started a training course (he was unemployed up to then) He doesn't live with my parents but uses their postal address so I think if we change his address & re-apply then hopefully it wil be ok. I've ranted at my local politician previously and will likely do so again, though I'm not sure how much they care either. Sometimes it seems like the only people who care is our family and we're not equipped to handle all of this.

I'd love a fast-forward button so I could skip all this turmoil and upset and move on to a calmer, happier time!

[#7]

Hi Sylver, 

They may not want to discuss things with you but you can write to them and let them know what you've been told, how you feel about what you've been told (first or second hand) and that you are going to be contacting your MP.

I've been helped by mine and to be honest at first I didn't hold out much hope but I did get told that they have access to people we don't and that's what happened and I ended up getting contacted directly by someone high up, not medically related and had a solution.

At another time and a different situation I was trying to arrange transport for mum and the transport company would only deal with social services, only take instructions from them not me. Yet whenever they had a problem they came to me to ask what was going on. That's why I think that although certain organisations won't discuss things with you I bet if you got your MP involved someone would pretty soon contact you.

Sometimes you can get a duff MP so if you're not happy you could write to all your local ones for each party and see what feedback you get. Don't rant, just explain your needs and what you see happening and how dangerous this could be. Surely if nothing else someone somewhere would want to avoid being sued for lack of care.

Please don't feel you have to do anything at all though just because I'm getting fired up on your behalf. Honestly Sylver, if you'd feel happier not stirring things up that's entirely fine.

I have found this which you might be interested in.

http://www.mentalhealthreform.ie/home/mental-health-in-ireland/

Email to forward...

http://www.mentalhealthreform.ie/take-action/email-your-td/

Owly x

[#8]

Hugs Sylver, hope you are a bit brighter today. Families can cause us so much worry, can't they. Not giving you any advice just sending you a gentle hugs (((((Sylver))))).

Hugs

Jillxx.