[#1]

I am so desperate for advice.
My 10 week old son is a nightmare. He wants to be constantly at the breast sucking, yet he only seems to feed properly (suck pause suck action) for a minute or two, he is gaining weight but not very much, although he has grown 6 cm. I think he's latched on properly, certianly I can't get him to take any more of my breast into his mouth.

Also, he absolutely will not sleep on his own for any length of time,expect in a baby swing. So, the only way we get any sleep at night is for me to co sleep with him, which is fine, expect I have to stay in a position where he can find my breast (I have very large boobs) if he wants it and this is killing my back. I keep trying to place him in his cot once he's asleep, but within minutes he's awake and crying and for the rest of the night he is very unsettled and keeps waking to make sure I'm still there.

He will not go in his basket at all, and will scream instantly. Hence the cot, which in a morning he will lie in happily while I get a wash and clean my teeth.

I was confident that despite his low weight gain, he was receiving enough breastmilk because he produces plenty of 6-8 wet nappies (I use real nappies and the terries are very absorbant)a day (including nightime)and he dirties his nappies every other day or so, it's runny and mustardy colour and he is very alert and active and otherwise seems very happy and healthy.

Now I'm not so sure, I'm constantly taking him off the breast and trying to reposition him to get him to take a bigger mouthful of breast, and on the advice of my HV I'm dual nursing, i.e. switching him over to the other breast as soon as he becomes restless. I've tried doing breast compression to keep the milk flowing but I can't seem to do it, or at least, as far as I can tell it's not working.

And if I take my son off the breast and gently squeeze the breast there is no milk, so does that mean he isn't getting any either???

The co sleeping is making him so clingy too, and because he can find my breast whenever he wants at night, he seems to want it during the day too.. but because of the dent in my confidence I'm not certain whehter it's because he's not getting enough and is hungry, or if he just wants to comfort himself.

I really don't know what to do.
Maree.
(Oh, this is my first baby and the birth was horrendous, meconium in the waters when they broke, labour didn't start, so was induced, but they couldn't keep a monitor on him so kept doing head prick blood tests on him, and then eventually, they tried for a ventrouse delivery because he got into distress, that failed and he was delivered by emergency c section and wasn't breathing initially).

[#2]

I am so desperate for advice.
My 10 week old son is a nightmare. He wants to be constantly at the breast sucking, yet he only seems to feed properly (suck pause suck action) for a minute or two, he is gaining weight but not very much, although he has grown 6 cm. I think he's latched on properly, certianly I can't get him to take any more of my breast into his mouth.

Also, he absolutely will not sleep on his own for any length of time,expect in a baby swing. So, the only way we get any sleep at night is for me to co sleep with him, which is fine, expect I have to stay in a position where he can find my breast (I have very large boobs) if he wants it and this is killing my back. I keep trying to place him in his cot once he's asleep, but within minutes he's awake and crying and for the rest of the night he is very unsettled and keeps waking to make sure I'm still there.

He will not go in his basket at all, and will scream instantly. Hence the cot, which in a morning he will lie in happily while I get a wash and clean my teeth.

I was confident that despite his low weight gain, he was receiving enough breastmilk because he produces plenty of 6-8 wet nappies (I use real nappies and the terries are very absorbant)a day (including nightime)and he dirties his nappies every other day or so, it's runny and mustardy colour and he is very alert and active and otherwise seems very happy and healthy.

Now I'm not so sure, I'm constantly taking him off the breast and trying to reposition him to get him to take a bigger mouthful of breast, and on the advice of my HV I'm dual nursing, i.e. switching him over to the other breast as soon as he becomes restless. I've tried doing breast compression to keep the milk flowing but I can't seem to do it, or at least, as far as I can tell it's not working.

And if I take my son off the breast and gently squeeze the breast there is no milk, so does that mean he isn't getting any either???

The co sleeping is making him so clingy too, and because he can find my breast whenever he wants at night, he seems to want it during the day too.. but because of the dent in my confidence I'm not certain whehter it's because he's not getting enough and is hungry, or if he just wants to comfort himself.

I really don't know what to do.
Maree.
(Oh, this is my first baby and the birth was horrendous, meconium in the waters when they broke, labour didn't start, so was induced, but they couldn't keep a monitor on him so kept doing head prick blood tests on him, and then eventually, they tried for a ventrouse delivery because he got into distress, that failed and he was delivered by emergency c section and wasn't breathing initially).

[#3]

Dear Maree

My first thought is that you are having an awful time and really need to get a break, before things get worse and you become depressed. It's hard to give advice that's ideal for you, because I only know you from what you posted. Your health visitor may be better placed to help you, and I strongly suggest you see her again. In addition to checking on your baby's growth - you say he hasn't gained much weight - I think you should tell her exactly how you're feeling.

I suspect your baby is using your nipples as a dummy. He probably won't stop anytime soon, at least not of his own accord. On the practical level, you really have two options. One is to carry on as you are, with your baby in your bed, which in my book isn't much of an option at all. You're getting backache, and you're getting more and more exhausted - dangerous for you and your baby. What's more, he may continue wanting to sleep with you until he's a toddler.

The other option is to put him in a cot, right now, in your room. It may be traumatic for a while, but it's much better to do this now than when he's older (especially when he gets old enough to climb out of the cot). When he cries, use the "checking" method of patting him on the back, telling him to go to sleep, then leaving him. Try not to pick him up - I'm sure you have heard of all this, but I know it's hard to do. Your health visitor can tell you more, and there are also details in my book (Baby & Child Questions & Answers).

You don't mention if you have a partner at home with you, but if you do, then make sure you get practical help. And if you don't, then explore other possibilities. I really believe you need support and someone to give you a hand, for the sake of your health and that of your baby.

Good luck.