topic Re: I dont know what to do :-( in Affairs & Cheating

I dont know what to do :-(

rebeccalou88 — Fri, 20 Jul 2012 12:48:44 GMT

Hi. I've been married for 6 months and I am very happy. I had a works out on Wednesday where I got way too drunk and kissed a collegue. I would never ever do anything like this usually. I don't know whether to tell my DH. It's eating away at me but I really don't want to lose him.
Thanks

Re: I dont know what to do :-(

owly_2001 — Fri, 20 Jul 2012 17:29:59 GMT

I would say don't tell him. There is really no point and while this feels like a big issue to you, to others it could be something they would do without it leading to anything or meaning very much. Something they would do as a joke. Your heart wasn't involved and to say anything while you feel so guilty would only make things worse. Those who do this kid of thing as a bit of fun would be able to talk of it freely and their partners, who know what they can be like would be more likely to take it with a pinch of salt, knowing it meant nothing to the one who did the kissing. Let it go, learn from it and let time distance you from the event. Owly x

Re: I dont know what to do :-(

sparkling-sunshine — Fri, 20 Jul 2012 18:04:57 GMT

I don't think you should tell him either. The only thing it will achieve is to cause your DH upset. Put it behind you and make sure nothing like it happens again.

Re: I dont know what to do :-(

rebeccalou88 — Fri, 20 Jul 2012 19:00:22 GMT

Well before either of you responded I actually told him. I work in the same room as the guy and knew seeing him every day would just make the guilt worst. I couldn't not tell him as I hate secrets. He was pretty mad as I expected but he's OK now and I've promised it won't happen again. I'm so relieved but thanks for you kind advice anyway. Silly me! Xx

Re: I dont know what to do :-(

sparkling-sunshine — Fri, 20 Jul 2012 20:40:21 GMT

Glad it's all worked out ok for you.

Re: I dont know what to do :-(

owly_2001 — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 13:46:41 GMT

Hi,

They do say that the answers to our problems lie within us and it sounds like you found your own. I strongly believe that what we end up doing is what we are meant to do, especially if we didn't see something that might have delayed our own decision.

I think you'll both have learned something from this and that's the main thing.

I'm really pleased that you are now able to feel calmer.

Owly x